At many chassidic weddings, it is customary to have the “ Rebbe R’ Melech’s dance.” This dance  is attributed to R’ Elimelech of Lizensk, one of the greatest chassidic masters.

In this dance, several pairs of people dance toward each other. In each pair, the two hold hands, and when they dance toward each other, one pair elevates their hands to form an arch, and the oncoming pair bows to go under the arch. The pair that bowed now raise their hands to form an arch, and the next pair now bows. With six or seven pairs in the dance, it is beautiful and graceful when executed properly.

However, if one pair forgets to form the arch or another pair forgets to bow, they clash, to the merriment of the onlookers.

Some people may not grasp the significance of the dance. R’ Elimelech was not a choreographer. Everything he did was in the service of Hashem. This dance conveys a powerful teaching.

The chassan and the kallah, up to this point in time, lived their lives as individuals, each with their own set ideas, each believing their own way is right.

But now they cease to be individuals. They are a unit. If they are flexible and can yield, they can have a very graceful marriage. If each insists on one’s own way and will not bend and yield, they will clash.

That is the message of Rebbe R’ Melech’s dance.